Experiencing Parenthood

courage to become who you really are

 

I AM Adaptable like Water
I AM vibrating at my Highest Possible Frequencies
I AM a Miracle Magnet
I AM LOVE EMBODIED

As the current of time moves downstream like  a river, I am unfolding as a parent (one of many aspects of my unfolding life experience).  As a young girl I knew I wanted to be a mother of a big family. This impulse was very strong, and it was kind of a “Pole Star” for me during my budding teenage years and young 20’s. All my decisions, fears and shadows influenced my decisions too, but being a mother was a driving force in my life.

Reflecting back on when I first became a mother (at age 22), and how much I have been changed by the experience of motherhood over the years.

I started from childhood, as I learned the joys and hardships of living in my family of origin, and further into the world as I explored… I felt myself (and my adult examples of how to live and thrive in this world) to be inept, impotent, damaged, though I could not put my finger exactly on how I  felt I was this way, or more importantly how to fix it.

Now, 10 years down the road of parenthood and self-evolution, I see that as a young malleable child my brain had been wired for survival/destruction in an illusion smoke screen of pain that my consciousness was  snared in, passed down to me like a virus from one generation of pain to the next.

Consequently I learned to and became later aware of the fact that I was limiting myself in many ways due to the programming of my mind. After becoming a mother, and my children reflected/mirrored back to me my “bad habits” it became obvious to me that I needed to change myself into an example that I could be proud of. I wanted to see positive habits and loving care reflected by my children, not a bunch of self-destructive behavior that serves no one, but harms
all like I grew up living. Children learn what they live, till they grow up and learn better, than we do better. No more blaming my parents, this is on me. I didn’t want my heritage to my children to be a self-abusive mind, sometimes desperate self-abusive hunger for love and affection, and no genuine self-worth or self-respect. Though I could see with my own eyes, feel with my own senses that I was handing down this viral ineptness that I inherited, I have stumbled and struggled to quickly release the snares of habit and take on new behavoirs and practiced from the perspective of Sovereign-Integration of my HeArt and Mind, learning the skills of  Self-Appreciation, and practices that enrich my life, and consequently the lives of my closest most precious treasures, my family. I was born to break old cycles of pain, I came to make new cycles, that can be improved upon and expanded upon. I will choose compassion, love, caring, nurturing, touch, I choose to surrender to the moment, to let go of thoughts Imageand feel my way through life, to give instead of need. Where I feel a lack of love, give love to fill that need, not wait for someone else to give love first. All behavior is either an act of love, or a call for love.

I AM thankful for the pioneers into consciousness, for the forerunners who helped to bring back the teachings of Practical Heart Math to our culture. For the WingMakers, for opening up ideas and windows that I never imagined to exist. This world is such a magikal place, if seen from the viewpoint of the Law of Attraction.

I AM thankful that learning to compassionately love and accept myself, and how that has made me more available and able to give love/assistance/care from a point of brilliant angelic love!

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